SCRIPTURES OF THE TENTH GATE
Winkish proudly welcomes our newest member Lilliana Quintana!
CongraDulations Lily and enjoy your winkish enlightenment!
To become a member or inquire about church locations
or service times email: email@example.com
The Old Testimentary
|Get out before I spit my mouse
Reversal of fortune
...mind you that the board itself is illegal and not the act of stealing it.
Congradulations boys, but we canít use it!
As you can clearly see... (hear)
YOU MUST (replace untitled into FD0!)
paint by handcart
Hide all faces!
All too clear.
I need some service!
Seer (of all)(good and bad, especially bad)
cannister of bad
sears robuck & co
Lord Savings Bank
Lord save us (everyone)
Lord save your soul
Keep order! (I say)
Keep water at your side at all times!
Keeping water is the first order of business.
For keep sake!
Itís whatís unsaid that counts
Get your (voicebox) in working order!
Get some working water!
Get yourself a work [order / ordinance]
Get your shit in order, and then get it the hell out of here!
I need, you must!
I need your mustard! (all over my face)
I have needs, for godís sake!
The burial of Murial
Letís take your brain out, spread it across the table, and take a good hearty look at it!
You need to find, and find alike!
pants so tight you can see teeth
[Unhand / Turn over] your daughter!
Brackish at best.
As firm as beans can be!
Call it a day!
Hang it up and call it a life!
The lord will trade your soul to the devil for stock options!
The lord will send your soul straight to hell in a salt basket!
The lord will send your soul to the devil via fax!
For everyone knows the lordís fax machine has needed toner for quite some time now! (Mr. Anderson)
For even the lord is late for FedEx sometimes.
A salt shaker will be sent in separate packaging!
The lordís dog will have his way with your soul!
Enough to turn a man sedentary (on the spot)
Dollars to Danishes! Danishes to Donuts!
Why did you have to give up? (So soon)
One of the lordís seven.
Wear your very best wig and gavel.
Few more, Few less!
Remember Pearl Harbor!
Remember what your grandfather died for!
Remember by whoís hand your grandfather was killed!
Getting wiggy with it!
Getting [piggy / piggly] with it!
Getting pinkeye with it!
[Tale / Tail] of two wigs
No more bets!
Have you done a stitch of work?
Split the ass with the blunt end of a hatchet! (of course)
Go fetch grandfatherís hatchet, boys!
Tip your wig to grandfather, boys!
Wink at grandfather, boys!
ass to ass (boys)!
Top of the wig to you!
Greasy hands, greasy hands!
Keep your wigtails tied and your nose to the winkler!
I wear my wig backwards, so the wigtails cover my eyes.
Wink at the lord and the lord winks back (just not the same way)
two slaps from the lordís wigtails.
half of two weeks
Whoís Winston Churchill, boys?
Any instance of Winstance Churchill III|2 will do.
Before Henry gets started...(Iíd like to go over a few ground rules)
Henry would be proud!
Henry will have your head!
Self control is a virtue!
Winking the mile, winking the mile!
Stuff it in and call it a day!
Can the real Henry Winkler please stand up!
like only Henry should
Keep it real, tight that is!
Keep it on ebay, no reserve!
the mother of our child
For every school child knows!
when's the next flight?
pig and whistle
Sink, Sink, In the wink!
sunken meadow parkway
trip to the meadows
getting some stink
How couldnít you!
What don't we have here?
Sedimentary, my dear Watson, sedimentary!
mouth to wink resedimentation
a ball in each socket
eye to eye
ghost of Scooby-doo
Send up our very best!
Put us into hyperventilation, Chewy!
Settle the score, Chewy!
Whoís the serif of this town?
Who let the lord in?
Öthe lordís victim
Sprekení ze deuch, de oink, de oink!
The lord moves in mysterious and predictable ways, but always from behind!
The lord is sinking about you!
ease it in like a gentleman!
Wunkety wunk! (don't call back)(ever!)
Run kitty run!
mix the beans with water and stand back!
mix the beans with water and by the way, stan's back!
stan's back and better than ever!
stan's back, and baaaader than ever!
the bad apple
the ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ad apple!
glaze a gavel
get a good glaze going
get your glaze on
A distiguished gentleman never lets the glaze dry
push them together (and push them the hell out of here)
by the way...
By the way, that's relatively easy. I'll have it done by luch time. By the way, talk to manure, You'll get better results!
by the wayside...
ewwwwwww, e! e!
You don't scare me with you beard und you glasses!
You don't scare me with you brown and bloody beard!
Stan... his way... your face!
Beard Und Glasses!
Biad und glazzes!
Biad und glozengers!
sheared and glasses!
always bet on brown
undo? NO UNDO!
(pile of) manuure!
unhand the (original) hen!
hens tied behind our backs
turn me [hillfinger]
fogged up glasses
beard up against the back of your neck
sean puffy coats
the keebler elves (are coming for you)
the keebler elves are coming in you!
put the gavel on the record!
stufen en einen vinkler!
...at the helm
good show old (chap)(girl)(patsy)
always a good showing!
...like it's the fourth of july!
Thirty Dirty (Thursdays)
either way stan wins!
hot under the collar
Abraham's winkin at you (boys)(You know what that means!)
keep a close eye on Abra's hand!
QUIET FRANKLIN! (disturbing the peace!)
Stan wouldn't have it any other way! And [quite frankly / quiet franklin] why should he?
he won't stan for that!
why wouldn't you? (and how shouldn't you?)
why wooden shoes?
buy wooden shoes!
invest in plywood (for your childrens [sake/future])
apply wooden shoes to plastic feet
strap on your very best pair of plywood shoes and [go to town / go out dancing]
oh pudding fairy, your the one(z)! (You always leave my bowl so clean!)
see more wigs (see less wink)
harness the power of the floating beard and glasses
open toed glove
open fingered shoe
The Jowls of 3Dstudio!
The Jiles of 3Dstudio!
a little light in the loafers
It's a SPECAIL DAY!!!
patsy, are they ok?
...Patsy's perspective (on life)
aland parsons project
al and patsy's project
shanley's been indited (again)
shanley hasn't been indited!
Pants down again Stanley?!
Stan down admirable Silverman!
there's nothing admirable about what he does!
...flew the coop
..the domes light up
When am I going to get my turn with the winktern?
Why did you have to?
back in highschool i fell into a bad crowd of radar detectors
steady grandpappy's shotgun!
look into those domes and tell me if you think he knows what he's doing!
Who let the hen in?
Who let the hand in?
Who let the hand out?
There's a hand in the hen house!
There's a hen in the hand house!
[release / unleash] the [hens / hands]
keep your hens to yourself!
Shatner was promoted
keep it under your wig
matted down, stcky hard with food, unkempt beard
big thick, filthy, fogged up glasses
getting downright piggly with it!
getting downright with it!
he's gone from punishing straight to punching
zeigler & ziegler
stan, you've outdone yourself!
pfff! - ching! - ching!
chrrp - chrrp!
hmm, hmm, hmmmm
for best piggly, push firmly and swiftly on stomach, apply eye to wink, and release
get all your pigs in line
giant muddy boots
(process of) indition
(getting quite) ungentlemanly like
A Stan-Shatner adventure
wigs and gavels, gavels and wigs, happy man is a man who sinks
big brown doors
big, dirty, enormous, food covered, pudding drenched, disgusting, smelly, brown doors
lunkage (stan's stuff)
dipping, dunking, sloshing, and [plunking / jumping /spelunking]
the brown round
Dunkin' the clown
chewby, or not chewby (there is no question)
Bingo! (no Bango!)
stan cheats because he can't wait!
greased up greyhound
that doesn't sound very appealing
edward semour hens
good showmanship (award / nominee)
good showmanship for all, and for all a good show!
good one! (stan)
consider this a warning, boys.
the Boston triple A office is now closed. We will re-open Monday morning at eight twenty twoo hoo hoo hmmm hmm!!!
he's not finished yet!
he won't stan for it
he won't stan-for-it university
edward sinclair hands
he's all stained up with (himself / yourself)
let go stan!
quiznos on clay, 15% off, tell 'em stan sent you
sir, stan always sends you - whether you like it or not!
edonk and e-go!
elegant hen cabinets
we do that now
we know it's you (stan)
even better stan, they let me choose!
sara bellex: wife of the inventor of the radar detector
stanley is the name, hindrance is the game!
Kluase von Glousburg
stanley's song (all about you)(performed by [you \ stanley's son])
half man - half hen
plan the shiad on your own time
pat say jack
stanish at best
stan is a pest
stan is a menace
hate stan (stan hits back)
slice of wink
shoe salesman ship
pinned through the skull
gorillas in the midst
|Half of two(1), two, Henryís winking
at you, Half of two plus two(3), Two times two(4), better get your glue...
You better watch out. you better sleep tight. you better sleep on your back, Iím telling you why. Th-e- lord is coming- for you!
I always feel like, the lord is watching me! poking and prodding... oh wo oh, i always feel like stanley is sinking me...
Guess who's back! back again! stan is back! tell a friend!
A little bit of cornstarch on your chin, a little bit
of coilcake on your shoe, a little bit of stan DNA on your neck,
Stan's in the place where you [work / live] -having fun-
Charltronics on your case? no need to [break / change] a face, Slip a Disc! Slip a disc, and call it a day!
Patsy are they ok? Are they ok patsy? 'cause we've been hit by, we've been struck with -some bad file names!! .. . . . . . .
Pig eye in the sky,
You're his own - personal - log flume,
|030||Motorola 68030 microprocessor used in Amiga computer systems including A2000ís and 3000ís. Often then 030 board was added additionally to the A2000 to speed it up, because it came stock with a 68000 processor. Legend has it, one such board was illegally acquired by one Devin J Calahoon for his own personal use. Mind you that the board itself was illegal, and not the act of stealing it. To this day, if you stumble upon room 244 in building 66 of NYIT campus you will see the 030 etchings from the paint by handcart method.|
|040||Motorola 68040 microprocessor used in Amiga computer systems including A4000ís and A3000 Towers. Legend has it, one 040 processor ran so hot, that the fan attached to the processor overheated, detached the processor from the motherboard, and flew across the room like a helicopter.|
|ABO brown||(Always bet on brown) The most
common of results in any game using colors for possible outcomes, like
roulette, ass slapping game, and the brown derby.
|Abraham Winking||(Abra-hand, Abra) A former president who is known to hang around the likliness of the lord, Stan Silverman and Henry Winkler, and participate in their festivities. Can be acknowledged as a distinguished member of the entourage and GTA. Abra's hand was severed in a horrible accident involving a wink, and Stan's gavel. It's rumered that Abra's hand still walks freely.|
|absurditree||Diagram or flow-chart from a preliminary
|accomplished gentleman||Someone who has proven his skill in acquiring maximum stature units, and parades his very best trophies around with him at all times. ALSO SEE distinguished gentleman.|
|ai to aiff||A utility used to convert vector based illustrator images to amiga sound files and back again.|
|Al||Board member of Kaon Interactive
known to emit a sound before each sentance strangly resembling a cicada,
a baby, Chewy, Popeye, and Pat from Saturday Night Live, and the ghost
of scooby doo. Occationally has side projects constantly codenamed "The
Al and Patsy project" with co-worker Patsy. Al is sole proprietor of the
|alto (visto baby)||Derives from the conjunction of the words `all` and `too.` It means to have Ďall tooí much.|
|Anatoly||Genius resembling Albert Einstein who was rewarded for his great work in contributing to an everlasting language by being beheaded by the swift sickle. This prodigy spoke such powerfull words that many would hang at his every syllible in anticipation. He preached such things as "by the way..." His words will be forever remembered as scripture.|
|ass slap game||A game played with a large group of people usually on a train where silence is a virtue. The crowd gathers around one person, usually a wink, bent over on all fours with their pants pulled down and another person crouched along side them as the dealer. Bets are placed and the dealer calls "No more bets". He then proceeds in giving the unit a good hearty slap on the wink. A few seconds go by in silence with all eyes in anticipation on the wink as the results develope. The crowd than erupts with the loudest reaction of all various emotions including dismay, joy, and confusion. The results of the wink that can be betted on vary from the spectrum of pink, red, blue, purple, white, and of course brown.|
|astoria||A section of Queens, New York. Also refers to a question of scheduling and status of events. Can be said: `Whatís astoria?`|
|authorities||In the legend of the stolen 030, the Ďauthorities' apprehended the assailant and slapped cuffs on his wrists.|
|basket||A basket usually lined with salt is used to transport souls to hell.|
|beans||Female breasts. Can be said: `As firm as beans can be!`|
|beard and glasses||An apparition of a faceless and
bodiless set of beard and glasses that floats around usually hiding in
a corner, shadow, reflection, or even seen directly behind someone creeping
down their neck. Sometimes the glasses fog up, and a prickly feeling of
a beard can be felt on the back of the neck of the victim. This apparition
is beleived to be the lord, Stan Silverman traveling around and punishing
by means of sinking.
|Bill Edmunds||(bedmunds) Kaon worker who's job function is still unknown to this day. He can be ackknoledged for at least one contribution to usefullness. He discovered a creative way using his shoe to the floor to replicate the sounds of the ghost of scooby doo calling Patsy's extension at Kaon. He was commended for his efforts but later condemned, committed, and decapitated by the sharp blade of the sickle.|
|brackish||A type of fish that is in a mixture of fresh water and salt water creating a diluted salt water. Also refers to the stature of a unit. A high stature or high maintenance unit would be referred to as a fresh water fish. The poor stature unit would be referred to as a salt water fish, and if the unit was somewhere in the middle, it may be referred to as `Brackish at best.`|
|brisket||A meat. Derivative of basket. SEE basket.|
|brown derby||A restaurant located in MGM Grand
at Las Vegas, that entertains itís dinner guests by having two grown men
stand naked facing opposite walls, and at a signal run backwards top speed
so that their winks collide. Bets are placed of varying outcomes on a grid
in the center of the runway. Sometimes an orchestra plays music corresponding
to the current actions on the runway.
|brown round||The final round of entertainment at the Brown Derby. The contestants for the brown round are usually over fed with all kinds of brown food including chocolate pudding, brownies, and chocolate ice cream until they grow up 2 pants sizes and their belt buckles break. They are then force fed laxatives, and left until they feel like bursting. Then an unwelcoming unvolunteer is selected by seat number and spotlight and positioned in blindfold at the center of the runway or impact zone (brown ground zero). If the unvoulnteer ends up to be a child they are given a courtesy wax paper rain hat. The standard betting mat is then removed and replaced with the brown round betting mat that instead of having results such as miss, near miss, graze, full impact, and various colors, the brown round mat just contains a ramp of different shades of brown. Then a stretcher and wheelchair are brought in by BMT workers. Bets are placed, the signal is lit and the entertainment begins.|
|buckled seats||The result of the powerful forces that emits from the unkempt danish of the devil, Kristine Loco.|
|burg-werger||Derivative of cheeseburger.|
|business||The act of intercourse. Also known as work, service, or sinking. Often said as `Getting down to business` or `The first order of business`.|
|Busney World||An entertainment park dedicated to the theme of a popular children cartoonís characters. Most of the rides have symbolic winks and gavels interacting, for example the merry-go-round has little gavels, winks, and danishes that children sit on as they move up and down. Cartoon Characters like Hen Reewinkler, Termy Hillfinger, and Winston Churchmouse walk around the park, posing in pictures with children.|
|canister||The container that often holds water of any type. More often than not, it contains bad rather than good. A common phrase is `Canister of bad`.|
|Cathy Calahoon||Believed to be the original devil.|
|cement gavel||A term used to describe the characteristics of Stan's gavel. It was derived from an experience when stan plunged his gavel so hard into a winks mouth that he went right through her teeth, shattering them in the process leaving a horrid mess of shards behind. Also used to refer to the CTO of Kaon Interactive, Josh who often hangs his cement gavel over a modelers shoulder to slow down workflow and make the modeler nervous.|
|Charles Bohm||(Charlie, Charltronics, Bellcharllex,
Charllex, Bellex, The Bells, The Belz, Richard Belzer, the bells are chiming,
for whom the bells toll, Charles Bellex: inventor of the radar dector)
An argumentative dictator who strangely resembles a radar detector and
ruled the modeling land of Kaon. At exactly 1700 hours and 00 seconds each
day, the boarding tower collapses and the launch sequence commences. After
liftoff the radar dector flys uncontrollably around the room and fires
off random laser shots at co-workers, walls, furniture, pretty much anything
in its path. Eventually he detects the closest exit and evacuates, but
if no exit is detected, Bellex has been known to exit by bursting through
the nearest window.
|Chewy||(Chewby) A creature from the Star Wars movies resembling a big foot creature. Emits a certain sound strangely linked with a cicada, a baby, Popeye, Al, the ghost of Scooby-doo, and Pat from Saturday Night Live. Is said to have been designated the fire fighterís very best and sent to rescue the ghost of Scooby-doo who was caught on top of a burning building, shaking and frightened by the flames even though the ghost could have flown away at any point or simply disappeared|
|chocolate star||The symbolic sign left on your forehead, similar to ashes, that symbolize the mark of Henry Winkler. Like Zorro, he usually kisses his victimís foreheads with his dirty wink before leaving the scene of crime. SEE Star of Henry|
|cicada||A small insect that emits a sound that derived a whole language. Sounds like: `Wuuggugugugugugugug Wuuggugugugugugugug`|
|cobbler||A pie composed of peaches. Also used in the name Lord Cobbler.|
|coil||(coil cake, coil hole, broken coil, broken links) A type of pastry, brown in color, that is a thin tubular shape, coiled up in a knot or stack resembling a snake, but usually broken in several spots or in links. Fecal matter (usually dog).|
|congradulate||A word used to praise oneís work, but used sarcastically. Originates from the ancient devil Stan Silverman of NYIT. He once uttered the word to mock his employees of their spelling error. Pronounced `Congradulations boys!`|
|connoisseer||One who sees much, is an expert judge of stature, and has had much experience in the field.|
|consume||The way that the lordís dog eats your soul, to make a mockery of it for all to see.|
|chrysler||Used in the name Lord Chrysler.|
|cuffs||The shackles placed on the wrists of Devin J Calahoon in the legend of the stolen 030.|
|danish||A type of pastry accompanying donuts. Refers to the female sex organ.|
|David Hinkley||Said to have accompanied Henry Winkler on many performances.|
|devil||The devil could be looked upon as many different people. Some common examples are: Howard J. Shorts, Cathy Calahoon, Kristine Loco, Stan SilvermanÖ Most of the time souls are sent to the devil from the lord directly with no stops. Often, souls are traded for stock options.|
|dip||SEE sink and dunk(can involve a wine glass)|
|Dirk Wiggler||A porn star related to Henry Winkler who is known for his expertise in dirty winks.|
|dirtwater||A type of fish that in the family of salt, but contains more dirt than salt. Refers to the stature of a unit. A dirty unit may be said to be a `Dirtwater fish`|
|dirty Thursdays||The night designated by the workers of Kaon Interactive to visit the local watering hole and get piggly with it. Usually this celebration is escalated to a frenzy on the thirtieth dirty thursday of the year pronounced "Thirty Dirty Thursdays"|
|dirty wink||The winking of an anal cavity, or the anus itself. This is popular with Dirk Wiggler and Henry Winkler. SEE wink|
|disabled||To turn something off. Making something unusable. Originates from the 3D software Lightwave 3D.|
|disc||a 3D cylinder that is placed in any object to mask out errors and save hours of work to model an object the correct way. This process is usually refered to as to "Slip a Disc", and is practiced by the likliness of the Jowls.|
|dishwater||A type of fish in the family of salt, but contains more residual remnants of food and waste from dishes washed in water than salt. Refers to the stature of a unit. A skuzzy unit may be said to be a `Dishwater fish`|
|distinguished gentleman||Someone who has proven his skill in acquiring maximum stature units, and parades his very best trophies around with him at all times. ALSO SEE accomplished gentleman.|
|Don||A bloated worker at the ACL computer
labs of NYIT. He often uses the voice of Ren (Ren & Stimpy television
cartoon) to converse. The stench that resides in the room when he leaves
has a half-life of a million years.
|donut||A type of pastry accompanying danishes. Refers to the dirty wink.|
|dunk||similar to dip, but usually involves a much bigger sloppier, or torn open wink. Usually when dunking glaze is sloshed all over the place. Also the gavel is usually dunked in arbitrarily on angles and sometimes completely sideways, as opposed to the straight, tight dipping or sinking motion.|
|Ed McCrackin||The president of SGI. Upon meeting with workers of NYITís ACL secret computer laboratory, it is said he once shook hands with 2 workers so convulsively, that he ripped their arms from their very sockets.|
|elegant hen cabinets||Cabinets created for housing hens in a more classy style as opposed to the traditional hen house. These cabinets are hand painted with murals and portraits, lined with 14k gold, and most of the surface is diamond studded. Unfortunately after installation and use, most of the surface is also lined with hen excrement as well. The designers engineered a sophisticated network of flaps and tubes to route and collect eggs without the need for human interaction, but unfortunately these trap doors and hinges usually become so crusted hard and solidified with hen feces that they become useless within the initial few hours of the cabinets installation.|
|enabled||To turn something on. Making something usable. Originates from the 3D software Lightwave 3D.|
|end of daze||The term that describes the end result of trying to absorb the sight of a fine wink of a high maintenance unit, only to be extinguished by the dirty looks of the one who is speaking for her. (end of gays)|
|entourage||The large group of people that
accompany Stan Silverman in his travels around the world in the name of
forceful sinking. The group usually takes part in the festivities in a
particular order after stan finishes up. The victim usually is so tramatized
by Stan's performance that by the time the rest of the entourage begins
the victim is only semi conscious. The entourage consists of William Shatner,
Henry Winkler, Dirk Wiggler, Winstance Churchill III/2, David Hinkley,
George Pataki, Abraham Winking, Sherman Helmsley, Rip Van Winkler, King
Albert, the mule, Hen Reewinkler, the dancing cat with wooden shoes, and
last Franklin. The cat is the only one of the entourage that doesn't take
part in the sinking, but instead dances faster during said activities and
never stops under any circumstances except for only one time ever. It was
once during one of Stan's busnyss trips to Germany. As he was walking down
a sidewalk with his entourage closely following, a german tourist (in germany)
bumped right in to Stan. When Stan didn't excuse himself, the tourist was
outraged and firmly said to stan directly up in his face, "You don't scare
me with you beard und you glasses!" This closeness to Stan fogged his glasses.
Stan's only response was a tilt of his head, and the whole entourage knew
what was in store for the tourist and gasped and then even the cat stopped
dancing for a second. Franklin came forward and tried to warn the tourist,
but was hushed by the rest of the entourage. The tourist awoke to find
himself in a full body cast with only a breathing hole by his mouth. A
policeman asked him what happened and his only response was "Beard und
Glasses!" muzzled through his breathe hole.
|exhume||To dig up a soul once again, usually for reasons of consumption by the lordís dog.|
|fax||A machine devised to send electronic
facsimiles or electronic reproductions of scanned papers to another machine
via phone lines. Also used to send souls to the lord and the devil. It
is a known fact that the lordís fax machine is in a constant state of needing
|few more, few less||A young unit who has a few too less years of her life, and will end up giving you a few more years in jail.|
|fighting gavels||A breed of animal rare in form
and found scarcely on the planet with eyes on the back of its head and
shaped suspisously like a gavel. These creatures are usually found in pairs
and beat up and bleeding from constant fights. When two of these creatures
meet they turn around to see each other, than turn around again toward
each other and crash into each other repetitively.
|find||To acquire a unit by any means possible. Usually the lord keeps strict watch to make sure one doesnít find, but extremely rarely one could slip by, and then you must be alert at all times, because the lordís vengeance is excruciating. It can be said `You need to find, and find alike.`|
|fish||An animal residing in many types of waters. Also refers to a unit or wink of many different statures. Usually the type of water proceeds the fish. For Example: `That was a dishwater fish.`|
|flask||A small metal bottle usually filled with some sort of liquid like water, small enough to fit by your side. It is often filled with the waters of Lake Heuron. It is said: `Keep a flask of water by your side at all times.`|
|forsake||(forsaken) A game by Acclaim Entertainment. Also, one who has offended the lord in some sort of manner. The lord then forgets this person and ignores him. Once your on this level, at any time, a small offense could prompt the lord to send your soul to the devil which leads to the scorning period. Sometimes there is a process preceding the forsaken title called the forewarning. It is when a person is warned by another that the lord is debating forsaking you. But sometimes, at the lordís will, you can be forescorned after or even before the forewarning which means your soul is sent straight to the devil without any forsaking. This is only done when the lord is extremely offended.|
|forescorn||The process in which one offends the lord to the point that he sends that personís soul straight to the devil, without forsaking first. It is only done rarely when the lord reaches climaxes of anger.|
|forewarn||An act of warning another about the lordís anger and undecided punishment for that person due to an act of offense toward the lord. The person can then either redeem their soul, or be forsaken by the lord or even forescorned in the worst fate.|
|formaldehyde||A unit from Turkey who once did work with Devin J. Calahoon.|
|fourth of July||Used to refer to the velocity of a spinning object, usually a gavel, resembling a pinwheel firework lit on the fourth of july. Can be added to a sentance as 'like it was the fourth of july', or even 'like the fourth of july', and even just 'fourth of july' alone. Can be said "He came into the room rustling up units like it was the fourth of july." SEE ALSO pinwheel party|
|Franklin||(Franklin Delino) A former president who fell in to a bad crowd by joining Stan's entourage. He still retains a few morsels of decensy and sometimes objects to some of the pastimes of the rest of the entourage and tries to warn their victims, but is always hushed and pushed aside. He is usually treated worse by co-members than the animal members of the entourage, and is always last in order of sinking the victim.|
|freshwater||A type of fish that resides in clean water containing no salt. Refers to the stature of a unit. A high stature or high maintenance unit may be said to be a `Freshwater fish`|
|fuel||(feulish) A person who is incompetent. Unwise or careless in decisions. It may be used in: `He felt quite feulish after that comment.`|
|fumigation||To release deadly fumes in to the air from the dirty wink.|
|gavel||A wooden mallet similar to a hammer that a judge swings and slams down on the desktop gavel base or sound block. Also used by CEOís and presidents of massive companies for formality purposes in board meetings. Itís usually accompanied by wearing a wig and black robe. It is legend that when the apocalypse arrives, to be saved by the lord you must be wearing your very best wig and gavel. Also refers to the male sex organ. ALSO SEE watering can.|
|geiser||Used in the name Lord Geiser.|
|Geoff||(Jiles of 3Dstudio) The eccentric
modeler of Kaon that models substandard models and skips hours of work
to make a correct model. Even if the model comes out halfway decent, he
applies a jitter effect to all the points in the model to give it a good
range of error and inacuracy. He can be compared to Jowls, but is usually
awake when modeling.
|George Lucas||A director who is sole proprietor of Industrial Light and Magic, and exercises his right to scrutinize prospect employees from his perspective which is between his giant muddy boots, filthy from stomping around Jurassic Park, set down on the table dangerously close to your demo reel.|
|german shiester film||(GSF)A home movie in which the main character positions his wink above the supporting characterís mouth and releases fecal matter that the supporting character digests.|
|Gerri||A worker at the ACL computer labs
of NYIT. She once turned sour, and remained that way for ever after.
|geyser||A hole in the ground that emits water periodically. Also used in the name Lord Geyser.|
|ghost of Scooby-doo||An apparition from the cartoon
Scooby-doo. Emits a certain sound strangely linked with a cicada, a baby,
Chewy, Al, Popeye, and Pat from Saturday Night Live. Is said to have been
caught on top of a burning building, shaking and frightened by the flames.
The fire fighters had decided to send up Chewy, their very best for the
rescue, even though the ghost could have flown away at any point or simply
|give up||The process of becoming so frustrated from rejections from units, and become so lonely from lack of units, that one starts to go the other way and search for gavels and watering cans.|
|glass table associates||(GTA) Comittee of board members assembled solely for the purposes of hindrance toward individuals in search of wink and happiness. The Chairman of the board is the lord, Stan Silverman and his whole entourage including William Shatner, Henry Winkler, Dirk Wiggler, Winstance Churchill III/2, David Hinkley, George Pataki, Abraham Winking, Sherman Helmsley, Rip Van Winkler, King Albert, the mule, Hen Reewinkler, the dancing cat with wooden shoes, and last Franklin. The comittee meets around a glass table high above the surface of the planet looking down at every motion the selected individuals for hindrance make. Sometimes the table gets cluttered with papers, blueprints, spills, stains, and dust making it hard to see whats happeneing below rarely resulting in the victims aquiring a wink. In these extreme cases of luck the GTA custodian is called to windex the table for extra clarity. Board members construct complex long term ideas of hindrance and pain and suffering for the victims and present these to the chairman who makes the final desicion.|
|glaze||the sherbert that coats a gavel when sinking. It's always a goal to keep a constant glaze happening. A distiguished gentleman never lets the glaze dry. Can be said "get a good glaze going" or "get your glaze on!"|
|goblin||A creature derived mainly from
Dungeons & Dragons that battles humans often. Usually wears a wig of
|good show||An exclamation shouted when a spectacular event happens. Usually used when a crowd gathers and lays down on the floor for the air show that begins with the launching of Bellex and sometimes sequentially the launching of Bilkins. Sometimes the show can be lenghtly when the two get into a dog fight and try to shoot each other down with lasers. Usually the surrounding area is wreathed with battle damage in the aftermath. Almost always Bellex takes a couple pot shots at the spectators on his exit.|
|Gregg||(jowls) A poor soul weighing a
metric ton with constant medical equipment at his side including EKG and
IV units with an everlasting frown frozen into his face. His frown is so
extreme that he has a hard time changing his face at all. Even to make
a greeting gesture with his face it takes the utmost of effort and lasts
fractions of a second. He has a mirror installed at his desk reflecting
his large low jowls for all to see. Usually the only sounds emitted from
his person is the constant beeping of his heart rate monitor. During a
meeting jowls had something to say and the whole meeting came to a screaching
halt to make silence for him to utter out his mumbles before his heart
stopped and a constant tone would be heard. The vice president had to scream
out "Everybody quiet, Jowls has something to say!" to save his energy level
so he doesnt die if he was to raise his voice. His face usually lays flat
on the keyboard and his jowls push the keys to model an object.
|half man, half hen||During World War II, Stan Silverman performed many cruel and unusual experiments of questionable nature. Most of these experiments involved surgery and grafting operations to create a number of different abominations including his famous ďhuman prawnsĒ. One of said is widely know as the half man, half hen. Contrary to logical reasoning, Stan didn't use the beneficial parts of each patient to create some sort of flying man, but instead he destroyed all results similar to that, and kept his prize result of the half man, half hen in which he was trying to achieve. His successful result was a hen's head grafted to a male human body. His goal was to have a man with an intelligence level lower than mentally challenged humans that walked around naked, aimlessly searching for crumbs, with useless arms that flailed and flopped around uncontrollably and fingers that couldn't articulate anything because the hen was only used to having wings. Some of it's predecessors were fully human with a hen brain implanted into the human skull. Those patients were considered a success by Stan, but did not have long life spans because of their instinct to peck the ground for crumbs and without beaks, their faces impacted the ground effectively cracking their skulls open.|
|HAM-E||An image file format containing 256,000 colors used in amiga computer systems.|
|handcart||An instrument in painting wall designs. Was used by workers in NYITís secret ACL computer laboratories to etch inscriptions into the walls like hieroglyphics. Inscriptions usually contained messages relating to the legend of the stolen 030 and the flying 040. To this day, if you stumble upon room 244 in building 66 of NYIT campus you will see the 030 etchings from the paint by handcart method.|
|hatchet||A tool used to split an ass. Resembles a hammer but has a sharp blade instead of a hammer head. Though, more often than not, the blunt end is used.|
|hearty||A good portion. Usually refers to looking at something, eating something or getting slapped. Is used in: `Lets take your brain, spread it across the table, and take a good hearty look at it.`|
|Hen Reewinkler||A childrenís cartoon character
who resembles a hen wearing a leather jacket, and uses his beak to peck
at dirty winks. Is best friends with the other childrenís cartoon characters:
Winston Churchmouse and Termy Hillfinger.
|Henry Winkler||An actor who is known for his expertise
in dirty winks. His name alone could be used to refer to a dirty wink.
He usually performs before large crowds or in the presence/presents of
the lord. He always performs with only his leather jacket upon arriving
on his motorcycle.
|hide||Used to refer to the process of making something unseen, or hiding from the lord. Originates from the 3D software Lightwave 3D. Is said: `Hide all faces.`|
|hors díoeuvres||A set of small appetizers usually placed on a platter and served at large functions. Sometimes, at certain massive companies these are placed on tables to coax workers, but forbidden to be eaten.|
|how much?||A question asked when a unit is spotted in public, who is clearly a prostitute.|
|Howard J. Shorts||(Howard J. Spider) A former worker
of NYITís ACL secret computer laboratories. It is said that he could be
the devil. He has a talent for convincing anyone what he wants them to
believe. He reached heights in robbery and fallacies to get to the stature
he is today. Legend has it he had intercourse with the famous Kiki Stockhammer
of Newtekís Video Toaster.
|howiedothat||An inquiry toward the method Howard J. Shorts uses to finagle things and con people.|
|illegal||An object that is against the law. Usually involves the stealing of an 030 board, but could pertain to anything stolen. Mind you that object itself is illegal and not the act of stealing it.|
|instance||An example, copy of, or replica of something.|
|Jeff||(Sickle) Kaon big wig paid heavily
to make an appearance for a few minutes a day to continue personal phone
conversations on his way to and from the snack dispenser in a continuous
circle. His commitment to the snack dispenser was to the utmost, and the
time it took him to sit back down and get up diminished to only fractions
of a second until it became a continuous motion like a squat. So he only
saw one answer to all his problems, to remove his chair and install a snack
dispenser in his office, which of course led him to make distant travels
to other snack dispensers further away. After his hard days work of collecting
snacks and catching up with all his personal calls he would begin his exit
process which would consist of the following: powering up the amplifier
and speakers, positioning the microphone up against his briefcase and attaching
it to his zipper pull hadle so that the microphone rides down the whole
length of the zipper, and turning the volume knob to a quarter turn past
max. He then proceeded in the zipper process which invloved unzipping his
briefcase placing an item in and zipping it shut, then unzipping and placing
the next item in and so on for about 15 items. After the tedious and important
zipping process comes to an end, it's time to begin the key process. The
microphone is repositioned so as to hang from his key chain like one of
the keys. The key chain is then hung in the air like a wind chime and the
closest window is opened. This part of the process lasts about 5 minutes
giving Jeff just enough time to make another run to the distant snack machine
so he has one for the road. Then the keys are dropped from ceiling height
to his desktop, not once but in a cycle until it bounces perfectly off
his desk into his briefcase, which of course is unzippered even once more.
Finally the exiting process ends and he exits to his car which has been
kept warm running since he arrived 20 minutes prior. Occationally he is
called upon for his expertise in decapitation and severing of bodily limbs
of departing co-workers after his own salary consumes theirs. His sickle
is kept on a rack that indefinitely sharpens the blade until it is used.
In some rare occations Jeff has been known to get bored with his beheadings
and ad some humer into the mix. He would have the employee sit down in
his office as if it was a standard meeting, but the sickle would be leaning
precariously against his desk, making the employee leary. Then at the perfect
moment he would kick the desk so the sickle would decapitate the victim
as he's in mid sentance and maintaining eye contact so the the element
of surprise was maximized.
|jocile||To shake abruptly. Sometimes that 040 board had to be jociled in order for it to work.|
|John Racine||(Fingers Racine) Kaon worker who's
job was to take anothers hard work and put his 2 cents in by reducing full
color texture maps to virtually black and white and cluttering up screen
space with half baked icons. Mind you he is doing all this mouse clicking
with a hand full of blindingly bright white fingernails making you feel
you looked in to the sun, and leaving you with a burned in ghost of fingernails
long after you look away. John also suffers from a rare mental disorder
that makes him a genius when it comes to information about anything, but
he can't extract a morsal of it from his head when queried about anything.
But at least he knows he still knows it all.
|Josh||(cement gavel) Kaon big wig paid heavily to program half baked software and command the Kaon enterprise. Al is sole proprietor of the Kaon fortune, but Josh is sole proprietor of Al. Josh's salary continues to grow into a massive entity by consuming every employee's salary weather they are fired or even still working there. He is known to sit up against the back of Kaon modelers with his glasses pressed against the back of their necks and hang is massive cement gavel over their shoulders, encumbering their ability to model anything efficiently. Josh has been known to place wagers and play games with other Kaon big wigs such as Bilkens and Al to see who can consume the most salaries and who can absorb all the Kaon fortune and residual investment money first. Josh seems to be in the lead.|
|kaiser||A type of bun or roll. Usually
a bunch of kaiser rolls are tossed in a bucket and submerged with water
during festive Halloween parties. People then bob their heads in the water
and bite the kaiser rolls out of the water without using their hands. Also
is used in the names: Lord Kaiser, Kaiser Sose, Kaiser Say So
|Kristine Loco||Believed to be the devil.|
|keebler||Used in keebler elves and the name Lord Keebler.|
|keebler elves||Little troublesome noems that come out at night per Stan's request in the name of hindrance. They usually pull antics in your home to deter any wink from any work including such pranks as leaving brown around your home to disgust anyone, or leaving shankers or shiners on you to repell any wink from you. But one thing that is always a given is that when "the keebler elves are coming for you", you better brace yourself. The keebler elves always end up coming in you.|
|keep||To continue having something for a length of time. Usually refers to water remaining by your side at all times. Could also refer to the importance of having order in an activity and is said: `Keep order!` which derives from the movie `Titanic` Also could mean a literal noun of Ďkeeping orderí and said: `For keepís sake`|
|kempt||Something that is kept clean ,tidy and sanitary. Usually refers to the hygiene or status of a danish or danish wigs.|
|kilter||When something sits atop of another thing a bit crooked. This usually aplies to the way Patsy's wig sits on her head. In Patsy's case her wig's normal is always exactly perpendicular to the earths surface, but her head is tilted aproximately 45 degrees in any orientation. The wig just pivots around her moving head to stay still. It can be said "Her wig is just a little off kilter"|
|kind sir||A person who is good natured.|
|King Albert||An emperor who rules his mighty
fortress in Las Vegas. The guest quarters are marginally humane, and the
lodging includes a watershow spectacular provided by his trusty mule. King
Albert is overweight and hairy wearing a sweaty pink robe with slippers,
a burger king crown, and usually smokes a messy cigar. He often cleans
the rooms himself, with some help of his mule who occasionally leaves gifts
|Lake Cured||The lake that cures. SEE Lake Heuron.|
|Lake Heuron||The legendary Mesopotamia where all life began and where all life will seize. The waters of Lake Heuron are said to be holier than holy water itself. It is believed that only the waters of Lake Heuron can cleanse your soul of itís doom brought on by salt. From the beginning of mankind, it is recorded that people from far and wide would gravitate toward Lake Heron to dowse themselves in the waters and cleanse their souls. It is also believed that on the apocalypse, all who want to be saved must be present at the shores of Lake Heuron. Water from Lake Heuron is usually kept close to the sides of many by use of flasks, pails, watering cans, and canisters.|
|leheurd||Derivative of lord. SEE lord.|
|lord||The ultimate judge who often appears in wig and gavel, and has quite a bad temper. Many believe the lord and the devil are one. The lord has no tolerance for souls who try to out work him. The lord is often distracted of his attention on you long enough for you to come close to scoring, but eventually he always spins his head around and picks up on it, and the consequences are unbearable. Believed to look like Stan Silverman, with an unkempt beard, glasses, and bad complexion.|
|lord savior||`The one` who will supposedly save all from the raft of the lord.|
|lordís victim||The arbitrary person the lord picks to attack and sink his gavel into their wink. Usually this is done in a series of consecutive multiple attacks in a fashion of a row, like dominos, for reasons of transporting himself across a room for example, and done while he is invisible so that it appears by bystanders that the victim is suffering a seizure. Under certain circumstances, the lord can not enter rooms in this fashion unless invited, which he tactfully tricks victims into.|
|maintenance||The amount of work that has to be done to keep something running well. Refers to the quality of a unit, and the amount of work or business that has to be accomplished to keep the unit at oneís side. Many times a maintenance support contract has to be issued and the status is usually `unsure.` May be said: `That unit is high maintenance.`|
|Manesia||(Manure)(Manoooooor) Evil dictator
of Kaon who had the whole empire under her disfigured finger. She was once
persecuted and punished for a robbery by having her finger chopped off.
It was later reatached, but to her foot, and a corresponding toe was attached
to her hand. She was left no choice but to purchase open toe gloves and
open finger shoes. She is often portrayed as a dirty pitchfork pearcing
a giant pile of manure.
|mule||The pet of King Albert of Las Vegas. This creature would put on a watershow spectacular for guests by peeing into the air to heights that match only your imagination.|
|murial||A unit who almost gave wink to Devin J. Calahoon before dying, in all relative respect, shortly there after. It was referred to as: `The burial of murial`|
|mustard||(mustard spray) A condiment used on hamburgers and hotdogs. Also refers to reproductive fluids. Can be said: `I need your mustard.`|
|need||To require something as opposed to just wanting it. Usually refers to the need for units, service, mustard or fish. A person who is needy is one who hasnít had mustard or fish in some time. Can be said: `I have needs too, you know.` or `For godís sake, Iím needy.`|
|New Ordeals||Stacking more difficulty on the rustling of units.|
|Newton||3D animated genie used in mitsubishothirty commercials. SEE Newyorbishothirty|
|Newyorbishothirty||Two separate commercials containing the same 3D animation of a genie, Newton, speaking with the lip-sync off for both messages. It is believed the lips synced up with a message from the devil in a GSF.|
|ordain||Blessed by the lord or a high priest, and certified to be high stature.|
|ordeal||The act of going on in your daily life trying rustle up units of any sort.|
|order (ordeur)||Something that is run calmly, smoothly, and cleanly. No abrupt behavior. Is said: `Keep order!` or `The first order of business.` or `Get your voicebox in working order!`|
|ordinal||Numbers that are in order. Fully working.|
|Ordinal OíConner||High Priest who ordains otherís statures. Is an expert in sinking wink.|
|ordinance||A work contract set up for a company to employ a person. Also refers to the confirmation for intercourse. One must have a work ordinance before starting any work.|
|Osama||Evil Terrorist known to be at the
helm of destruction. He was been seen on many occations fleeing the scene
directly prior to a massive disaster. His workplace is usually cluttered
with various forms of pioson, explosives, detonators, blueprints, flight
manuals, maps, and schedules.
|pail||A bucket used to transport any type of water. Is usually kept at oneís side.|
|Pat||A character from Saturday Night Live that is so sexually ambiguous in speech and appearance, that others constantly confuse Patís gender. Emits a certain sound at the end of sentences strangely linked with a cicada, a baby, Chewy, Al, the ghost of Scooby-doo, and Popeye.|
|patch||In 3d, a group of nurb splines. Also the hair above a danish.|
|Patsy||A flustered Kaon employee who tries
to pass off as a half baked photographer. Like an artist she tries to leave
her signiture in all her images, but in her case it's usually the half
cocked off kilter perspective and fisheyed effect from the closeness of
the camera or even a bit of motion blur for extra measure, and most distinctly
a reflection of herself must reside in every photo, sometimes even smiling
and waving. A wig seems to sit upon her head always a bit off kilter, but
in reality the wig is perfectly straight and her head is half cocked to
add to her confused demenior. She is usually plagued with cuts and bruises
about her head which seems to attract beatings like a magnet. A clone of
Patsy was developed entirely in cyberspace in which a "Virtual Patsy" walks
around the screen just as flustered as the real one, programmed to act
exactly like Patsy and capture virtual images at maximum distortion exactly
like the real Patsy, with off kilter wig and all. Patsy usually waits until
the whole company is present in a meeting and turns sour upon certain individuals.
During these meetings she often waits until about 3/4 of the way through
and asks what the meeting is about again in her normal flustered way. Patsy
has also developed new and cutting edge ways of renaming files in the most
time consuming methods possible with an error rate of only .5 She has multilpe
programmers working on advanced renaming utilities code named "Rename Studio
MAX LE" with multiple undos and rename history as well as rename layers.
At first Patsy was upset to hear that some functionality may not be possible
by one of the programmers Osama. She said "Undo?" He said "No undo!" Fortunately
for her, she discovered he wasn't talking about the undo feature in Rename
studio MAX LE, instead he was talking about his work in his latest project
finished in downtown Manhattan on September 11, 2001 code-named "No Undo".
|Pearl Harbor||Harbor in Hawii bombed by Japanese during WWII. Often said `Remember Pearl Harbor!` to an American unit who has chosen a japanese boyfriend. Has broadened as far as to mean a black boyfriend as well.|
|pecking order||the order in which two hens peck at a wink. There is a very distinct pattern in which this is done, but the patterns outcome range is indefinite similar to pie. Occationally the hens go at the same time and collide beaks or have near misses, and sometimes even go sequentially within a fraction of a second and hit one another in the back of the neck.|
|pinwheel party||A gathering composed of a limited wink and a large gathering of gavel sinking each wink. Usually as the gavels are swung like the fourth of July, much glaze is slung around the room and even on one another.|
|plywood||sheets of wood composed of multiple
layers of chipped wood glued together in opposing grain. Plywood is used
in many aspects including shoes and commodities. It can be said "Strap
on your best plywood shoes and go out dancing!". It has also been said
"Invest in plywood for your children's future."
|po-boys||A sub or hero sandwich from New Orleans that contains shrimp or oysters. Also is substituted for `hello boys!` or `boys!` at the end of sentences. Relates back to a time in which a couple invited guests over their apartment and offered free wink from the girlfriend. But as the guests were in mid-sinking, the girl emerged from the kitchen to offer sandwiches to the guests saying `Po-Boys! Half oysters of half shrimp?` (even though you get both halves either way) The guests then looked down, and were alarmed and horrified to find the boyfriend snuck between them getting sunk.|
|Popeye||A cartoon sailor man. Emits a certain laugh sound strangely linked with a cicada, a baby, Chewy, Al, the ghost of Scooby-doo, and Pat from Saturday Night Live.|
|powder||Flakes of white substance usually put on a wig. It is imperative to keep a wig powdered. The explanation of why is unsure. Sometime kept in an unmarked envelope or addressed to William Gates III, but always overpacked and almost round and not sealed properly, leaking out of the sides. It's use is best when accompanying one to demanding to see a CEO and barging into his office. The envelope can be used as a threat to meet demands otherwise a hearty clap to the envelope will surely coat yourself as well as anything in the near visinity, but mosty yourself. This powder is sometimes known as anthrax|
|present||Clear and accounted for. Obvious to all. Also refers to a female sexual organ. Can be said: `You must keep it clear and present!` or `She revealed her presents`|
|pristine||A unit of the highest stature physically possible. Usually with a danish and wink so tight, no gavel could ever fit in, but well worth trying.|
|PTWA||pre-teen wink action. forbidden sinking.|
|pudding fairy||A fairy that visits at night to deliver what looks to be warm chocolate pudding to an anticipating victim. A bowl is usually left out to be filled, but the pudding fairy has very bad aim and bends over and always misses usually coating the victims head and face. Can be said "Oh puding fairy, your the onez, you always leave my bowl so clean!"|
|remotely logged||A tiny beard and glasses icon that shows up in the bottom right windows tray when Stan Silverman remotely logs on to your computer. He usually monitors your work and inserts any kind of hindrance he deems necessary.|
|reversal of fortune||The process of losing all wealth at the same rate it was gained, leaving you a pauper.|
|resedimentation||To revive a victim by either putting your mouth to their wink, or your wink to their mouth. Can be said: `He had to give him mouth to wink resedimentation!`|
|Rich||(Bilkins) CEO of Kaon Interactive
and head bilker of all the company's funds. His main job function is to
administor the ratio of salaries for the employees and make sure that everyone
is at a slow constant drop while selected board members including himself
absorb that difference into their own salaries. And most importantly, the
modelers must always be kept at the lowest salaries of the whole company
below even secretaries and interns. Sometimes during board meetings about
the salary project, a good hearty chuckle can be heard from outside the
room when the topic of the modeler's salaries arises.
|Rip Torn||See Rip Van Winkler|
|Rip Van Winkler||A character from a fairy tale that
had a horrible accident with his dirty wink and became a member of the
|said||A word that is used to refer to the same object or phrase that is stated earlier in a statement. Is used to avoid reiteration. Is used in: `Lake Heuron contains holy water. Keep a flask by your side containing said waters.`|
|salt||The white granular condiment contained in a shaker. Also, the most deadliest substance to a soul. It makes a soul shrivel and dry out. Both the lord and the devil use salt to control souls and keep them from uprising. Salt can line a salt basket, be mixed in water to form brackish or salt water, taint a fish and turn it into a salt water fish, be sent in a salt shaker for easy sprinkling, or consist in solid form as a salt lick.|
|scorn||(scorned beef)(scorn on the cob)(Scorny Weaver) The process in which the lord sends your soul to the devil. This is done normally after the forsaken process. When it is done before the forsaken process, it is known as forescorning. The soul is usually faxed to the devil first, then sent in a salt basket via Fed Ex, and a salt shaker is sent in separate packaging.|
|scurvy||A rare disease associated with work and linked with sedentary.|
|sears||Derivative of seers. SEE seer.|
|sedentary||The act of being still or sitting. Also a rare disease associated with work and linked with scurvy.|
|seer||One who sees much. An onlooker who is very observant. Is usually said to be `Seer or all.`|
|seervice||Derivative of service. SEE service.|
|self-aware||When something realizes itís own existence. Usually refers to microprocessors.|
|self-control||When something keeps stable on itís own. Usually this attribute is hard to achieve. It can be said: `Self control is a virtue!`|
|Semour Wigs||Fellow entourage member who has had more than his fair share in sinking wink, and seen more danish wigs than anyone alive.|
|sender||When something is shipped in mail, the outgoing party is known as the sender. Sometimes when the package does not reach itís destination or it refused, it is returned to sender.|
|Seoul||The capital of Korea. Legend has it that all souls originate from Seoul before reaching Lake Heuron and becoming man kind.|
|serb||(serbian)[serbian nights]One who is from Serbia and searches for Lake Heuron.|
|sermon||A lecture given by a high priest, relating all about units and acquisitions of said wink.|
|serpent||A creature that has been damned by god, because of reasons of distraction on penetration, to be soul slithering around and attaching to unit legs like a snake or wet towel for eternity.|
|serum||An antidote. Also refers to mustard.|
|service||The act of intercourse. Also known as work, business, or sinking. Often used in: `I need to stop by a service station.` or `I need some emergency service.`|
|seuropean||One who has accomplished a variety of wink in the European countries.|
|seven||The number one more than six and one less than eight. Itís importance is linked to ancient religious beliefs that the lord is constantly penetrating seven units.|
|shanker||A sore that usually developes sometime after stan finishes up all over you. It usually infests your gavel and could move all the way up to your face. SEE ALSO shiner.|
|Shanley||(Shanley's list) A nickname stan uses for himself when he is in litigation. Because Shanley is indited for rape charges every calandar day of the year, he has created the term for the process of 'indition'. It makes headlines when Shanley ISN'T indited. Shanley also has a list of the people that he hinders, but there are only two names on it.|
|sheister||Is used in the name Lord Sheister. Lord Sheister is believed to actually be Howard J. Shorts.|
|Sherman Helmsley||Believed to be in cahoots with Henry Winkler.|
|sherbert||Similar to ice cream. Also refers to reproductive fluid. Can be said: `He had sherbert all over his face`|
|sherpa||One who leads others to wink. A guide who has experience and expertise in units, like a connoisseer.|
|shiner||A sore that usually developes sometime after stan finishes up all over you. It usually infests your gavel and could move all the way up to your face. SEE ALSO shanker.|
|shoebert||A strange little creature strangely
resembling a shoe or boot. Derived from an 1980's videogame 'Q-Bert', this
boot hops around but in a much more chaotic pattern then Q-Bert. The police
often bring shoebert along to the crimescene of a murder to help sniff
out clues, but usually all shoebert does as soon as he is unleashed from
his cage is knock over furniture, break and dirty up evidence, and step
on and kick the body as well as any surrounding officers in the vicinity.
If blood is involved with the murder, shoebert undoubtably will leave bloddy
footsteps around the crimescene. Shoebert usually ends up kicking the officers
in the ass or nuts repetatively pivoting on an unseen knee.
|shoehorn||A tool used to forcefully cram apart two ribs to remove a heart. Also used to describe how stan sinks his gavel into you and other cramming applications. Can be said "He shoehorned himself into the crowd" or "He had to shoehorn his gavel into the pristine wink.".|
|show||Used to refer to the process of making something seen, or not hiding from the lord. Originates from the 3D software Lightwave 3D. Is said: `Show all faces.`|
|side||Next to or attached to one. In a pocket. It is where things are kept such as water containers, wigs, gavels... It is usually said: `Keep a flask of water by your side.`|
|sink||To submerse something, or make something disappear into the depths of something. Usually refers to the submersal of a gavel into a danish or wink. Intercourse. Also known as work, service, or business. This is a common chore of Henry Winkler.|
|sir||A respected man. Also could refer to a seer.|
|SIRE RECORDS||The company that interviewed Howard J. Shorts and almost hired him on the spot, except the fact he then chose to rather be referred to the vice president of TIME-WARNER instead.|
|skullular phone||A wireless phone that is used when skull-fucking.|
|soiled (out)||Contaminated or stained. Also refers to the end of acceptance to an event due to overpopulation.|
|solstice||The exact center of a season. Usually used specifically for winter. The winter solstice is exactly when the lord takes the most souls.|
|soul||(winter-soulless)(soul-mate) Oneís existence. The mind of the body. Physically it appears to be a damp towel, but it contains your whole personality within. In order for oneís soul to remain working, it must be damp and clean. The lord purposely applies salt to souls for punishment and transport means. Salt can dry out a soul to the point that it could disintegrate. Usually once separated from the body, a soul slithers around trying to attach to units legs. This is known as soul-mating. Sometimes the lord mocks souls by letting his dog pee on a soul or worse yet, letting the dog consume the soul and defecating it for all to see.|
|sour||When someone suddenly turns from happy to agile and bothered. Could be related to anxiety, anger, or dismay.|
|spew||To emit fluid.|
|spider||The bug that has the face of Howard J. Shorts. Sometimes called Howard J. Spider. Legend says that a spider once crawled up the wall in NYITís secret ACL computer lab, and spied at workers from side to side behind a picture.|
|split||To separate into two. Usually refers to busting an ass in two with the blunt end of a hatchet.|
|Star of Henry||The symbolic sign left on your forehead, similar to ashes, that symbolize the mark of Henry Winkler. Like Zorro, he usually kisses his victimís foreheads with his dirty wink before leaving the scene of crime. SEE chocolate star|
|stature||The quality rating of something. Usually refers to a unit or fish. Something high stature is usually high maintenance.|
|Stan Silverman||Chairman of NYITís ACL department,
also chairman of the GTA and head and most esteemed member of the entourage.
Would mistreat and mock his own employees. He has a most unkempt beard
matted down with grime and food and a pair of glasses as thick and dirty
as the beach glass out of a dirty pond. Stan travels by his plane across
the country back and fourth in the name of hindering. He also makes many
busyness trips around the world with his entourage for sinking purposes.
Beleived to have a ghostly counterpart beard and glasses that floats around
and attacks victims by appearing behind them and brutally violating them.
Stan is also believed to be a devil and the lord.
A young normal Stan in 2001
An aged, weathered Stan 2 years later
from all the stress of hindering coast to coast.
|stink||Bad smell. Also refers to the awful odor that emits from some danish of a dirtwater or dishwater fish. Can also mean a whole fish itself, of any stature.|
|Termy Hillfinger||A childrenís cartoon character who resembles a termite with an enlarged finger that he pokes and prods dirty winks with. Is best friends with the other childrenís cartoon characters: Winston Churchmouse and Hen Reewinkler.|
|time track studio MAX||Application used keep track of hours on particular projects at Kaon Interactive. The application has a complexity level of 10 and has many menus and plugins to warp and bend time.|
|toaster||Newtekís Video Toaster system. Used to put special effects into video and editing. Usually pronounced: `Oh Toaster!`|
|TWA||teen wink action. Usually associated with teen flight attendants dealing with sinking gavels.|
|twice baked||A unit whoís danish and donut has been watered.|
|twice blessed||Something that has been deemed worthy by the lord and ordained by a minister or Henry Winkler to be high stature. Usually refers to a unit.|
|two||One more than one, one less than three. This number is very significant when referring to any numerical value, especially time in weeks. In fact, similar in concept to roman numerals, every number is a derivative of two. Is said: `Half of two weeks`|
|unit||(unitary) An exceptional specimen
of the female human. Also referred to as a fish or wink.
|unkempt||Something that is not kept clean, tidy, and sanitary. Attributes that may have gone out of control. Usually refers to the hygiene of a danish or a danish wig.|
|unsaid||Itís what is not said during a conversation, but understood by only the two conversing parties. Usually in complete contradictory to what is being said, and usually refers to intercourse. Often used in: `Itís whatís unsaid that counts!`|
|unsinkable||A unit of such highest or pristine stature, that it is physically impossible to even fit a gavel into such tight danish or wink. Sometimes the unit knows well of her status and makes it impossible for anyone other than distinguished or accomplished gentlemen to sink, leaving you thinking it is unthinkable.|
|unstinkable||A unit of such highest or pristine stature, that it is physically impossible for there to be a stink emitted from the danish.|
|unsure||The usual response to any inquiry of having a maintenance support contract.|
|unwelcomed||One who is not appreciated. Is usually used in a greeting. Pronounced: `Hello, unwelcomed!`|
|want||To like to have something as opposed to needing it. Usually refers to the want for units, service, mustard or fish. Can be said: `I have needs, and you just have wants.`|
|water||H2O. Also a variety of environments of fish. Water dilutes and cleanses. Especially certain waters like the waters of Lake Heuron, used to cleanse souls from salt. Water is kept in flasks, pails, watering cans, and canisters which are usually kept by oneís side.|
|watering can||Male sex organ. Also SEE gavel.|
|watering hole||Place to pour water. Also refers to a danish.|
|waudeer||Derivative of water. SEE water.|
|week||Seven days. Is usually doubled up for any task. Almost everything happens in or takes two weeks. Sometimes two wigs are required too. Derives from the movie `Total Recall`. If something takes 1 week, it is said to take `half of two weeks`|
|wig||A hair piece. Usually gray with rollers and tails, and almost always powdered for unknown reasons. It is said that one must always have a wig by his side, if not wearing it. Also it is customary to tip oneís wig when greeting another. Almost always is accompanied by a gavel and black robe. Many times wigs come in pairs, and are called Ďtwo wigsí. Also refers to the patch of hair above a danish. Can be said: `Have you flipped your wig?`|
|wig tail||The tails on a wig that usually hang down with ribbons. The lord often swings his head around and whips you with his wigtails. You can also wear your wig backwards so the wigtails cover your eyes. Also refers to a dingleberry.|
|William||A worker at the ACL computer labs
of NYIT. He once turned sour, and remained that way for ever after.
|William Shatner||The most recent member of the GTA
and entourage who, because of his celebrity status, pulled out the promotion
to Stan's sidekick from under Henry Winkler who has been in the organization
since it's begining. Shatner accompanies Stan on all his busyness trips
and assists in most hindering and organizing of hindrance. Shatner usually
takes time out to plan ahead and find the hotel room where the boys are
staying and falls fast asleep in their bed before they arrive, making sure
the sheet becomes dirty, hairy, and matted down from sweat.
|wink||To shut an eye. A dirty wink is to wink an anal cavity. Can mean the anus itself. This is popular with Dirk Wiggler and Henry Winkler. Also refers to an exceptional specimen of the female human. Can also be called fish or unit.|
|winsock.dll||A cross between a flag or banner on a flag pole, and a library file in a computer OS.|
|Winstance Churchill III|2||Prime Minister of England in the 1940ís. Can be said: `Any instance of Winstance Churchill half of the third will do`|
|Winston Churchmouse||A childrenís cartoon character who resembles a mouse that scutters across church floors in search of dirty wink. Is best friends with the other childrenís cartoon characters: Termy Hillfinger and Hen Reewinkler.|
|wookie-woogie||The mating sound of a prehistoric animal some say to be the cicada. Was said to be heard during the lecture of Stan Silvermanís class at NYITís ACL computer lab.|
|work||The act of intercourse. Also known as service, business or sinking. Used in: `I couldnít get any work done.`|
The New Testimentary
|Psalm 2:12 
I would like to inform you of a cd sale at SIRE Records.
You may sell yourself to the devil, or simply save yourself. Either way,
Lord Kaiser looks down upon us as fuels. Some foolish people believe there
are many gods, such as Lord Geiser, and Lord Geyser. I for one (that is,
one of the foolish people), believe in 7.8 billion gods. I believe we are
all gods, and the fool above us is useless man. Pop quiz, hot shot! How
many buckets of water will it take to soak a silo full of kaiser rolls?
answer: trick question- the silo is a missile silo which has no fuel. moral:
never bob for kaiser rolls in a bucket of fuel.
Psalm 2:26 
and then the laheurd struck down upon the with great vengeance.
at the last supper, lord geiser broke kaiser rolls with all 7 of his imposters.
he was then arrested for handing out illegal bread, mind you that the bread
itself was illegal, not the act of handing it out, or even the fact that
the bread was spread with fecal matter; in fact, that they commended him
for. then they committed him and saved his soul for the devil. so it goes
to show, fecal matters! it really does.
Psalm 3:1 
Lehuerd save us. Everyone. For even the Lehuerd knows
that one cannot FAX the lord in vain. Ever. In fact, all too often, the
Leheurd saves those who cannot understand him or even ones he cannot even
possibly understand himself. Albeit, all too soon for judgement.As you
are fully self-aware of, Lake Heuron is the source of all geysers, good
and bad. Especially bad. The fuelish ones, however, are fairly free to
advocate their will upon the geyser that may or may not be illegal, depending
upon the angle of the viewer. Never, though, can you expect a returned
receipt of entry to such an illegal display. Mind you, the display itself
is illegal, and not the act of displaying it. Only when contained in a
large fuelish canister, can it be said to be deemed semi-legal. And sometimes
near the perimeter of said Lake Heuron. If not, your soul will immediately
be turned over to the devil.
Psalm 3:2 
Armageddon is not 2000, it is 2030!
Psalm 3:91 
You should coushin your chair with the wads that youíre
getting. Careful not to jocile your mac while its running softwindows with
maya. For you will know the lord has forsaken you when he raises his mighty
kaiser roll from the depths of Lake Heuron, and takes a hearty bite from
the soggy mass. You will know all too well when you shake hands with Mr.
McCrackin and he rips your arm and livelihood from the sockets that hold
society together, to find yourself the redeemer of fortune. And his mighty
self wants you to think for a minute, while you bash the holy head in the
filecabinet door, who is the spider, and why has he forsaken me? And when
the spider peers at you from side to side from behind the picture, say
to yourself, `Lahuerd, I have done nothing but forewarned my neighbors
about their fate in the year 2030, and I have even gave them a brief taste
of 030, before I returned the hardware to sender.` You are then to proceed
to Lake Heuron, where you are to engage in the self-forscorning process.
But remember: When the all knowing sour Gerry looks down upon you from
the high camera,
Psalm 3:2 
If I am to say that one is a seer, understand this: no
man may control the flow of kaiser-soaked waters in said Lake Hueron. Even
to entertain such a thought is to skip forewarning and directly initiate
the forescorning process. For many years serbians have roamed the land
in search on their souls, or at least a kaiser roll that resembles their
souls. Once found, the soul is to be soaked to the bone and forescorned.
Mind you that the soul itself is not illegal, but the act of soaking a
soul to the bone may not be looked upon as wholesome. Someone is all to
fuelish, even for their own good. No man's soul should forsake themselves,
even when it is a foreseeable seer of all souls good and bad, especially
bad. A kaiser is not equal to Hueron if and only if no fuel is necessary.
Void where prohibited. Never get involved with Hubris or Werbler's when
kaiser rolls are on the line. Soggy or not, the fate is yours alone. Leading
me to believe that you should forescorn yourself, even if you haven't been
forewarned, or even if you are not wrong at all. If not, you should immediately
turn your soul over to the devil. Thank you.
Psalm 3:11 
For I must CONGRADulate you on that last one. It ranks
up there with the one from lord shiester. The lord has decided to save
your soul because of it. Mind you that he is saving your soul for the devil.
when lord lucifer took your soul, he had to pour salt on your soul to decontaminate
it. He then returned it to sender, which then alerted the authorities to
exhume your body and insert one illegal soul, mind you that the lord himself
was illegal and not soul that was demonized. So the lord then placed cuffs
upon his mighty self and immediately turned himself in for stock options.
so from the point that we became lordless, Lord Kaiser S. So took over.
All souls were to bob for kaisers at any given point, and any refusals
were to bob for their own soul, which when finally bitten and retrieved
was to be doused in salt and FedExed directly to the devil. For every soul
knows that you can not fax the devil your soul with a footnote of a hard
copy in the mail. It will be just returned to sender. And you must be a
fool, if you were to accept the fate of a salted soul. For any solid minded
kind sir knows to wash at least rinse it in the waters of Lake Heuron to
cleanse the condiment. For the lord gathered his soul mates around his
supper table to break peach cobbler and get the word out to all serbians
that after his death, all are to report to Lake Heuron where the mighty
geiser will take all their souls in one swipe for the next FedEx drop-off.
For even the lord is late for FedEx sometimes. And when Mr. Keebler and
his 7 elves parted the red sea, he then uttered to his fellow serbians,
`follow me so you can be forsaken!` All too many adhered. Until next time,
keep on fueling!
Psalm 3:17 
who dares twist the fate of the all too seeing? donít
forget to damn your soul to the devil, and stamp out all means of life
form for your futile future. and never forget your salt supplement for
the day to keep your soul shriveled. may the lord strike down and take
your soul unexpectedly, and dreadfully, leaving you in a pool of your own
piss and blood, thoughtfully named Lake Heuron, and to know that your last
earthly event was chewing on a fecal sandwich. thank you. and youíre welcome.
Psalm 3:25 
on the first day, the lord created the land of earth,
on the second day, he gave it water and promptly called it Lake Heuron.
on the third day he created man and called him Lord Kaiser S. Say. on the
fifth day he sat back and reflected on all that he created on the fourth
day. and finally on the sixth day, he created Howard J. Shvartza. on the
seventh day howard created kiki. and on the eighth day he did her. mind
you that he is god, and howard just watched. howie just swindled the lord
into paying him for her. for even the lord succumbs to howieís demands.
on the ninth day, howie bought acclaim entertainment, but fired himself.
He then became president and CEO of NBC. for once you break bread with
the devil, always your soul is condemned and salted. and that was the demise
of our lord. he was traded for stock options and finally liquidated for
a small sum. howie j now own all assets and rights of the lord and all
lordships. for you must always carry a salt shaker for kind sirs sake-feuron!
Psalm 11:1 
Hello unwelcome (one). For even the Lehuerd knows that
you must keep mortars by your side. At ALL times. If not, your soul will
be generously watered like a common garden-variety house plant and then,
of course, gently rolled in a basket of salt for all to plainly see, then
watered again, and repeatedly stepped on and stamped out to insure the
maximum salt content. For it is not the soulless who need to worry about
said fate, but the soulFULL who have been forescorned, but not forewarned
- It is barely legal to asses the size of the ass that is. Of course it
is what is unsaid that matters. Except in ass size, as previously said,
and in matters of the heartless, pertaining to the fecacular arts, including,
but not limited to, bronze ass-sculptures. Especially since you will be
parading your soul around on a stick and referring to it as a salt lick.
Now, use your soul as postage. You should be able to upgrade a Class `H`
rate to a potential Class `J` rate. Rate `S` may cost more than your soul
has to offer, especially with the separate packaging necessary and courtesy
fax required. A courtesy flush may also be necessary to make sure your
soul stays down. More unsaid.
Psalm 1:20 
Does your seoul hold waudeer? or even Korea? Make sure
when you get yours from the lord, that youíre wearing your very best wig
and gavel. For you don't want the lord to disrobe you to find a powderless
wig at your side. Because then, all hell would break loose, and the devil
herself would come down from the heavens, to claim rights to your soul;
copyrights, that is. And if the copyright process took too long, you would
then have to fax the residual information directly to the devil, who would
then email a return receipt to the lord, because all faces know you can
not fax the lord- not because it is unethical, but because the lord's fax
machine has needed toner for some time now. You know your in a world of
shit, when you annoy the lord to point that he has to pull out of all seven,
to take care of your shit. For you must keep this rule of thumb at your
side at all times; `When the lord descends down for all to see in clear
and present daylight in the center of Times Square, which he definitely
will, you must pay strict attention to where his eyes wander to, and what
ass he decides to split for all to see. For the lord will only pick the
very best, and then try to inject all seven into said. Then, my dear friend,
you will see what all humanity has been waiting for since the beginning
of time, and all questions will be answered. The heavens will break open
and all souls will be freed. But most importantly, during said activity,
you are required and must be wearing your wig and gavel in ourdeur to be
recognized as one of the saviors of the free world, in which then your
soul will be denounced, and sent straight to hell in a basket composed
of iodized granulated material. This is done because the lord has to teach
a lesson to all, that even no matter how devoted you are, your ass can
still be split, and your soul can still be licked.` With that said, please-for
god's sake, keep a pail of waudeer by your side at all, and I mean ALL
times. For the lord will catch you dry, and then you'll be up the creek
when you can't douse and dilute your soul from the said punishment. And
for keep sake, realize now that when explaining that your needy and holding
out your hand to a well defined unit, that all you'll receive is 2 good
hearty slaps to the jowls. One from the unit, and one from the lord. For
even when the lord turns his back for a few minutes and you manage to find,
he will spin his back around soon enough to demise all plans of mustard
spraying and hatcheting of said ass. For you can not outwit the lord. He
will never let you find and find alike. The ratio for acquired units for
lord vs you will always be 7:0. So when the lord has 14 the sequential
correspondent for you would still be 0. Understand this well. Another thing
to remember, is when, and it will, Microsoft's empire falls, and our regime
is at hand, all tables will be cluttered with hors d'oeuvres for all to
see but not touch. And on the big screen will eternally loop the attached
mpeg movie. send your soul to the devil via fax. also send a salt shaker
in separate packaging. Until next time, keep a flask of dirty dish water
in sight at all twilight hours.
Psalm 9:5 
unfortunately, there is indeed an additional surcharge
to `redundantly` copy and paste the texture image throughout your project.
the image in question is intended for a single, one time licensed use only.
any other additional use may constitute fraud and|or copyright infringement.
let me remind you, sir, that the federal government imposes strict and
harsh penalties for those who unlawfully make archival copies of their
own work, much less others. it is recommended that you save applying the
texture until the absolute last minute before the final render as to not
rack up additional charges for using the texture in test renderings (surcharge
applies). it is also unlawful to crop the image in photoshop 3.51 or greater
(mac os) or photoshop 4.0 or greater (pc). our r&d department is hard
at work developing counter measures to those who choose to be involved
in such illegal operations inclusive of: copy, paste, save, save as, and
of course crop. we will be working closely with microsoft, corp. over the
next several months to disable these functions from the core operating
system and any other program running under windows with it. you will be
receiving an upgrade kit in the mail shortly. we have collectively determined
that there is no need to disable these functions in the macintosh. because
of the slow nature of these functions running under this platform, we expect
to dispatch the authorities before the said operation(s) have time to finish.
Psalm 10:1 
Psalm 10:2